Got a toothbrush?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Lo siento on account of my penis...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
