I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
