Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I want her autograph on my taint
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
