so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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