its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
