hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize