the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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