Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize