Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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