so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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