worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
