My first STD was from a foam party
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
