Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
accomplished twins. life is a go
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
