I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
