Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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