I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
True strength comes from lack of pants
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize