absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
