Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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