i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
