I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
