i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
