these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
