One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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