Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
another moral hangover. fuck.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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