apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
