did you get engaged???
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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