I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
