She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
