Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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