hell yes lets make some ravioli
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
