My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
