So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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