Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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