So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize