I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
