I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
