He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
