I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize