so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
