so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
