So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
