and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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