Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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