the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
