Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I would fuck him just for his dog
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
