i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize