I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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