WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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