For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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