At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize