I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
