I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
