just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize