I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize