the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
