YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
