Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
