All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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