So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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