Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
