I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize