Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
