I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
