ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woke up backwards on a recliner
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize