worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
