The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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