just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
